


Something More

by kylorensith



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 12:08:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7102687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylorensith/pseuds/kylorensith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After realizing that The Resistance wants to rule the galaxy just as much as The First Order, and they're using all their people to act as though they are looking out for the greater good, Reader decides she would be better off with The First Order. Afterall, they are at least upfront with their greed for power. Over the past year that the Reader has been working with The First Order, going to The Resistance and stealing as much information as she can, she has gotten closer to Kylo Ren than anyone else has before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first Star Wars fic, I'm not overly in love with it, or at all for that matter. But it's gotten some notes on Tumblr so I figured I'd post it here as well. Try to ignore the errors that I made throughout this entire thing, they're everywhere, I'm sorry!

“So you’re telling me what exactly General Hux?” Kylo Ren demanded, looking down on on the General. Kylo has been very short tempered lately, especially with General Hux, and his lack of knowledge on his men.

“I’m telling you, it seems KE-4926 and RT-0020 have lost the prisoners.” Hux stood up straighter, almost trying to match Kylo’s height. Kylo stared at the man through his helmet, not saying a word, causing the general to look to you for help. 

There was nothing you could do, Hux knew that, so you stood and waited for Kylo’s rage to commence. “Don’t look to (Y/N), General.” Kylo lifted his hand, squeezing his fingers just enough so that Hux was lifted from his feet, and held by his throat. “Find. Those. Men!” Kylo yelled through his mask, making everyone surrounding the bridge look to him. He held Hux up for another moment before dropping him, and walking away, leaving you to follow. 

“Sir, if he doesn’t find those prisoners soon, they could have the base memorized. Who knows what they will find, and if they do escape, they will go back to the Resistance and tell them everything they know.” You walked just out of step with him, holding your hands behind your back, waiting for his outburst on you now. But it didn’t come, he just walked faster.

“General (Y/N), you need to get back to the resistance base immediately, and find out anything you can.” You nod, and leave his side to gather what you’ll need to fit in with the Resistance. “General!” He called as you walked away from him, you decided not to answer, but to just turn and show that he had your attention. “More specifically, find what they know of us.” 

“Yes, Sir.” You leave once again, packing your Resistance uniform. When you first left the Resistance, just over a year after Han’s death, you knew what you were doing was right, the Resistance doesn’t want peace, they want to rule the galaxy just as much as the First Order. The difference between the two, is the First Order is honest, and outright with what they want. They don’t lie to their people, everyone who works for the First Order, knows exactly what they are doing.

“Let Ren know we captured the girl from the ship.” You heard the automated voice of the Stormtrooper holding you say to another. “Let me go, now.” You demand, only getting you shoved into a metal wall, and the Stormtroopers grip to tighten on your wrists. “Shut your mouth.” Another shove into the wall, only made you more agitated. 

It wasn’t long until Kylo found his way to the interrogation room, immediately dismissing the Stormtroopers keeping watch over you. “So I hear we have a Resistance fighter among us.” His almost robotic voice would have intimidated you, but you knew nothing would happen to you once you told him everything he wanted to know. 

“Former.” You smile sarcastically at him, his interest was piqued, waiting for you to continue. “I was a high ranking Resistance fighter, working closely with General Organa, I have a lot of information I think the First Order would find interesting.” You had known that Kylo Ren is, or was Ben Solo, General Organa’s son, but that wasn’t why it was important to mention her. It was important because that meant you knew more information about the Resistance than any other fighter. 

“Yet you refuse to let me into your thoughts.” His hands were held behind his back, as he started to pace the room looking at you through the helmet. “You’re Force-sensitive.” He stated, it wasn’t a question, he can tell when someone is blocking him from their thoughts. “Tell me what you know.” He stopped pacing, and looked directly at you, doing his best to get anything from you. 

“I will tell you anything and everything I know, but I do have two demands if you would like to know anything from me.” Kylo was fascinated by not only your courage, but how you were clearly trained in some way with the Force. He stood looking at you, curiously for a moment for responding. “Or I could just get it our myself, going around this little.. little block you’ve put up in your mind.” You couldn’t tell, but he was almost smirking behind the helmet. 

“But my offer could help you much more than just simply finding what I know now.” You were staring at him with intensity, showing him you weren’t going to back down easily. “And what would this offer entail?” He began pacing again, this time listening to your words, not just trying to break through your thoughts. 

“As I said, I worked closely with General Organa. The Resistance doesn’t know I’m even here, as far as their concerned, I’m on a mission to stop some of your Stromtroopers from killing an entire village.” He looked back at you, waiting for more information. “I would still be able to go back to the Resistance, and gather information that could help you destroy them, and bring it back to you here. You’ve never been able to get an insider from the Resistance, and I have a feeling that it would help you quite a bit.” 

Kylo continued pacing, for several minutes, thinking over your words carefully, you were confident that this would work for you, your only worry being whether or not he would agree to your demands. “How would I know that I can trust you, after all you’ve worked with the Resistance since you were young, as did your parents.” You became more aware at him bringing up prior knowledge he had of you from his life as Ben Solo.

“Once I let you in my head, you’d be able to know everything I know. Once I get back from the Resistance, you would be able to know my every thought, you would know if I was hiding something.” He smirked behind his helmet again, noticing how you didn’t seem to be even slightly afraid of you. Intimidated, maybe, but not afraid. “What are the two demands you have?” 

“I will become a member of the First Order.” A almost silent hum came from his helmet, a laugh maybe? “That can be arranged, if your information is as valuable as you say it is.” You nod, and looking right into where you assumed his eyes would be “And I will be trained in the ways of the Force. I have potential to be one with the Force, but only if I received the proper training.”

“That is to be decided by Supreme Leader Snoke, if he believes you have potential in the ways of the Force, then of course you would be trained, it’s not a demand on your part. It’s a demand on his.

Landing at the Resistance base, was always bittersweet for you, you had grown up here, you had friends and family still working here. But you know where your loyalties lie, and that is with the First Order. You were met with the repair team, looking for any damage to your ship. You ignored the greetings of many people, knowing you didn’t have much time at the base before having to go back to the Starkiller base. 

You were met in the command center by General Organa, that was one thing you almost regretted about letting Kylo into your thoughts, and memories. He always had to see his mother, and when she spoke of Kylo, she called him Ben, and she always looked so broken, especially since Han’s death. “(Y/N)! I’ve missed having you around. Everyone is going crazy.” She pulled you into a hug, which you gave in return, hugging her longer than usual, as she has been alone so often now. Your loyalty may not be to the Resistance, but that doesn’t take away from the genuine bond you and General Organa had before you left. 

“Good to see you General Organa. What do you mean everyone is going crazy?” You looked around, noticing that many, at least two dozen, people were missing, including Rey, Finn, and Poe who were almost always at the base when you were there. “Poe, and Finn went to the Starkiller base, but were captured before even getting in, Rey found out and went after them. They’ve been gone for about a week now, the rest of the Resistance fighters have gone to help them, but no one has returned in two days.” You could feel her fear, it was taking control over her emotions, the last time she felt this way was when The Knights of Ren attacked the Jedi temple years ago, when she realized her son was the new leader of The Knights of Ren.

You had known that Poe, and Finn were at the Starkiller base, that’s a large part of the reason it was urgent for Hux to find them, so they didn’t see you and realize what your position was in the First Order. But Rey- you had no idea she had found her way to the base, does Kylo know? With all the thoughts running through your head, you remembered you hadn’t answered General Organa. “I’m sorry General, I need to go. I need to help them.” You turned on your heal and ran for your ship, you could hear her calling for you, but knowing that there was a possibility of Rey attacking Kylo scared you, more than you could ever imagine. 

You were off the planet not even ten minutes later, heading back to the base. You needed to prepare Kylo, or if anything keep Rey from Kylo. If they meet again, it will end in death, and you don’t know who, no you didn’t want Rey to die, but if it came down to it, you would want Kylo to live over her. 

Not long after leaving the Resistance base, you were back to the Starkiller base, and demanding that someone find you Kylo right that second. What if Rey had already found him, and they were fighting somewhere on the ship, luckily those thoughts left your mind the second you heard Kylo enter the room. “Oh thank the stars.” You sigh to yourself, walking closer to him resisting the urge to hug him. 

“What’s going on? What’s so urgent?” You could sense a hint of worry in his voice, but nothing clear enough for anyone else around to hear. “The prisoners, the pilot, Poe, and the traitor, Finn.” You knew Kylo hated FN-2187 to be called Finn, but that’s how you knew him, so you often had to correct yourself when referring to him. “They’re the only to prisoners from the Resistance on board?” He stiffened, and you could sense he was starting to panic, automatically knowing someone else was aboard. 

“Follow me, now.” Kylo ordered, you fell into step with him, surprisingly as he’s so tall. A few -silent- minutes later, you arrived at Kylo’s headquarters. The second the blaster doors closed, he took off his helmet, and threw it to his bed. “I spoke with General Org-“ he interrupted your words with a tight embrace, it took you a moment to realize that he, Kylo Ren, is hugging you, his subordinate. “I-“ You didn’t know what to say or do, Kylo had never shown any kind of affection towards anyone else on this base, let alone you. 

“I thought you were hurt.” He pulled away, and looked you in the eye, you were sill in slight shock at his show of affection. “Why would you think that?” was the only thing you could think to say, he looked almost uncomfortable for a moment, before pulling you into his quarters more, and sitting on a chair across from where you sat. 

“I could sense your panic, something’s wrong. What is it?” Remembering why you’d been so panicked, and in a hurry to get back to base, you began to tell him what you’d found out. “Did you find Rey?” His eyes narrowed for a brief second at the mention of the one person who’s ever defeated him in battle, he hates her more than she hates Finn, and that says a lot. “Is the scavenger on my base?” He stood up, and began pacing the room quickly, much like he always does when you arrive back from the Resistance. 

“I believe she might be. When Poe, and Fi-FN-2187 didn’t return after two days she came looking for them.” He started breathing heavily, and his hand was twitching trying not to reach for his lightsaber. “They haven’t been found, have they.” It wasn’t a question, you could tell by his anger that there were three Resistance fighters missing on the base. 

“Anything else?” You were nervous to tell him that the rest of the Resistance fighters were either coming, or already near the base to rescue them. “General Organa also said that all the Resistance fighters had left their base, and were coming here to rescue the three.” His lightsaber was quickly drawn, and slashing through his walls, and floor around him. You stood quickly, taking a few steps back, you were confident that Kylo would never intentionally hurt you, but in his fits of rage, it never hurt to take a few steps away.

Almost ten minutes later he was finally calming down slightly, he retracted his saber, and looked over to you with worried and pained eyes. “I’m sorry.” You shook your head, there really was no need for him to apologize. You’d seen him do worse. “Don’t be. Now we need to go find the three prisoners.” Deciding not to use their names again, in fear of angering Kylo again, you started walking to the door, but were held back by his hand, around your wrist. 

“You are to stay here, they can’t see you. If they see you, they might take you from me.” You knew he had meant as an apprentice, he had always been fairly fond of teaching you. “You’re right, but I wouldn’t go with them, I’ll stay here. I can’t risk the tie to the Resistance, it could ruin everything for the First Order.” He stared at you blankly for a moment, before you felt him moving around through your thoughts, the pain wasn’t nearly as bad as it was the first few months, so you are now able to only cringe slightly while he moved through your brain. 

He looked almost pained while looking your directly in the eye, what confused you though was that he wasn’t looking at his mothers beaten down face as he does after every other one of your returns. He listening to your thought about being only an apprentice to him over and over again. Just as you opened your mouth to ask why he kept hearing that, he left the room, leaving you slightly confused, and alone in his quarters.


	2. Something More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader realizes Kylo could be in danger fighting Rey again, his judgment would be clouded. She leaves Kylo's quarters, against his wishes, and goes to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said it in the last part too, but be prepared for errors all through. This was my first attempt at something other than band member fan fiction, so it was a little different. Other than that, enjoy!

It had only been a few moments since Kylo left you in his quarters, but all you can focus on was the feeling of dread that was washing over you. Kylo is more than capable of holding his own against Rey, but when he gets that angry during a battle, it clouds his judgment, causing him to be overthrown. 

You could sense your masters anger, anger that Hux’s men lost Poe and Finn, anger that Rey was somewhere on the base, but the majority of his anger is toward the Resistance as a whole. “He could get hurt.” You whisper to yourself, walking the length of Kylo’s quarters over and over. What if he needs help against Rey? What if she’s already found Poe, and Finn? They could be hidden just enough to attack Kylo from behind, giving Rey the upper hand. 

With that thought, you left Kylo’s quarters running to your own to grab your lightsaber. You need to be at least close enough that if Kylo needs help, you’ll be close enough to help immediately. The only thing you needed to worry about now was finding Kylo, and making sure he’s safe. What would he say if he knew you were doing this? You’ve let emotion take over your training, you know this is dangerous. 

You shook your head, pushing the thoughts of Kylo being disappointed in you out. You moved down the halls of the base slowly, careful not to be seen by Kylo. Putting up a slight block in your mind, just enough so that Kylo couldn’t sense how close you are to him, you realized where he was going. The new center of the base, which had Starkiller base not be destroyed, would be the room Han Solo died. 

It would make sense that he would go there, and wait for Rey, she would look there if not because she might sense where Kylo is, but because this is almost exactly like the room she watched Han die. His death left a mark in many people, Rey and Finn included. You walked in quietly, making sure you weren’t seen by your master, and went up a few levels, watching Kylo pace back and forth, fists clenched in anger.

Kylo had been in the center of the base for almost an hour, when the sound of a door sliding open echoed through the large room. For just a brief moment, all your attention was focused on looking at who was entering the room. Kylo’s attention snapped up to you, looking directly at you he moved his hand just slightly, and you felt yourself freeze in your stop. “No.” You whisper, looking down at the non-existent hold, he’s using the force to keep you in place.

“Damn it, Kylo.” You hiss, looking to see Rey advancing on Kylo. His focus was now on her, and how he was going to defeat her this time. He drew his saber, only seconds after her. She took a few steps closer, and that’s when everything started moving too fast, you could hear someone coming closer to you, but your eyes were focused only on Kylo, and his wellbeing. The footsteps were getting closer to you every second but you couldn’t look away from the red, and blue sabers clashing together. 

You wanted so badly to yell out to him, beg him to set you free so you can stop her. But that would only cause more trouble for the both of you. An arm wrapped around your waist holding you close to them, and a hand covered your mouth causing you to scream into it. You looked around you, seeing Finn looking at you sweetly, as to tell you you’re safe, you turned your neck as much as you possibly could, seeing Poe is the one holding you. 

“It’s okay (Y/N), we’re safe. You’re fine, we just have to wait for Rey to kill Ren.” You wanted to put Poe in his place, tell him how stupid he is for escaping the cell, and running amok the Starkiller base, Kylo is going to kill them. You started to speak into his hand, hoping he’ll pull away and listen to you, and he did.

“Poe Dameron. You let go of me right now.” You demand, turning back to see Kylo holding Rey’s saber back with his own, a smile twitched at the corner of your lips, watching him get the upper hand. “We need to get ready to help Rey if she needs it, we have this, you take it.” Poe let go of you, and handed you a blaster, for a split second you were glad that you had this, but that second passed once you realized Finn, and Poe have the same blaster too. Even with the blaster and saber you’d received from Kylo, you still weren’t going to be able to help Kylo with the hold he has on you right now.

“I can still aim.” You whisper to yourself, holding up the blaster, because of the proximity of Kylo and Rey while you aimed at Rey, to the boys it seemed like you were aiming for Kylo. Just as you got Rey in your aim, she pulled away from Kylo and quickly slashed his helmet again, before throwing him across the room, almost off the bridge they were on. You heard someone scream while you looked in fear as Kylo’s limp body lie on the ground, unmoving. It took you a minute to realize that the screaming was coming from you. 

You felt the hold that was on your legs leg go, and you immediately ran as fast as you could to Kylo, Rey had moved to him and was now holding her saber to his neck, with an almost cocky grin on her face. Your heart was racing, you didn’t even think twice before drawing your saber and pointing it directly at her. “Get away from him Rey.” Her grin was long gone, as she started to feel the heat of your saber on her back. “(Y/N)- I- What are you doing? Why would you want to save this monste-“

“Don’t you dare.” You took a step closer, you knew she often referred to Kylo as a monster, but you didn’t know if Kylo was able to hear anything, if he could there was no way you would let him hear anyone call him such a thing. “(Y/N)?” You could hear Poe’s confused tone as he got closer to you, and you could see Finn out of the corner of your eye staring at you. “Get away from him, now.” You seethed, narrowing your eyes at Rey, ignoring Poe and Finns pleas to stop.

“You’re the one who’s been giving the First Order all of our information.” Rey gasped, stepping away from Kylo, and retracting her saber, you very easily could lose your position within the First Order for being of now use to them anymore, but you nodded your head anyway giving away what you’d been doing for over two years now. “All three of you leave. I don’t want to hurt you, any of you, but if it comes down to it, I’m saving my master over all of you.” 

Poe back away from you slowly, you could feel the pain in his chest, and the sadness running through Finn and Rey’s bodies. “He’s your master?” Rey cried, shoving a finger in Kylo’s direction. He wasn’t fully aware, but he was able to hear everything you were saying, and doing. For him. You’re choosing him, a monster over your friends. 

He tried to move, wanting to get you away from the three, and to never let them take you from him, but it was no use, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t protect you. “You- you’ve betrayed General Organa. You were like a daughter to her!” Rey yelled getting closer to you, her rage was so strong you knew it was clouding any and all judgment she had in her. “And worse you betrayed her, with her own son!” You narrowed your eyes, you didn’t know much of Kylo’s relationship with his parents, but you knew enough to know that they might as well not have been his parents at all. 

“Leave.” You said again, growing more defensive of Kylo every second they stayed. “Now! Or I will be forced to make you leave. Go!” You yelled, your voice echoing through the room. Rey backed away from you slowly, shaking her head in disappointment? No, fear. You didn’t like the idea of your former friends fearing you, but if it meant they were away from your master, and he was safe from harm, you could deal with it. 

Rey looked to Finn, and Poe who looked at scared as Rey had moments ago. They followed her from the large room, leaving you to fall to Kylo’s side. You got his helmet off, and saw that he was still conscious, but not able to move. “Are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay?” You felt tears form at the brim of your eyes, not knowing what you would do without him. Not even as your master, but as the one person you care about most in all the galaxies. 

He could only watch you, while he waited for sleep to come. It wouldn’t be long. “I’m so sorry, Kylo.” You had no idea what to do that would save him, your powers weren’t that strong, nobodies powers were that strong. You thought through all your options, and wondered if you were able to move fast enough if you could get a medical bay to him in time. “Kylo, I promise I’ll be right back. I need to get you help. I’ll be right back.” Panic filled his eyes, and made you feel worse for this mess. 

You leaned down and kisses his cheek, brushing hair from his face “I’ll be right back.” You got up and ran as fast as you possibly could, you made your way to the medical bay in less than two minutes, and demanded that they follow you, and that if they didn’t you would break their droid heads off. They followed you with the medical bed, to carry him back, once you reached the center of the base again, you ran faster than you had been before to get back to your master. 

His eyes were barely being held open, but the second he saw you he forced his eyes open, and refused to look away from you “I’ve got them, you’re going to be okay, master.” You helped the droids get him in the bed, and hurried them along to the medical bay. They didn’t go the speed you demanded, but they got there in time for Kylo to be put on oxygen, and examine him for any other wounds. You weren’t allowed into the room, until he was deemed stable, further angering you. 

After two hours of being in the dark about what was going on with Kylo, you heard yelling, and crashing. Your eyes widened, thinking that maybe Rey, Finn, and Poe hadn’t left base, but only a moment later, you realized the yelling was coming from Kylo. You pushed through the door, and into the room he was being held in, he was yelling at the droids for not letting you in the room. He hadn’t noticed you, he kept telling the droids to come get me, but they kept telling him it was again’t protocol to let someone of my ranking in for no reason.

He flung a droid across the room, and tried to sit up, making him cringe in pain. You pushed past the droids still in your way, and sat on the side of his bed, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Kylo, calm down, please.” In an instant, he calmed down, looking at you and looking you over as if you’d gotten hurt somehow. “You didn’t leave.” you didn’t understand his words, where would you have gone? “Kylo, what?” You brushed hair from his face again, and looked in his sad eyes.

“You didn’t leave me.” He whispered, a wave of sadness washed over you as you realized he thought you were going to go with them back to the Resistance. “I told you, I don’t want to leave. Why would I?” Leaving the First Order hadn’t crossed your mind once since you joined, what was he so worried about? 

“I- I don’t know.” You watched him curiously, he must just be exhausted after everything that happened today “You’re tired, Kylo. Get some sleep.” You didn't notice until you sat in the chair beside Kylo’s bed that you were exhausted as well. You hadn’t slept in about forty-eight hours, and it was finally catching up with you. You looked at Kylo once more before curling into a ball in the chair, and closing your eyes. 

page break

Several days later, Kylo was finally stable enough to return to his own quarters. You had stayed with him everyday he was in the medical bay, he didn’t say anything more about you leaving him, so you were finally sure that it was just a tired Kylo ramble. You walked with him to his quarters, making sure he was settled in his bed before leaving. It had been a quiet day, he hadn’t said much after he was told he was free to go back to his quarters. 

You turned to walk away from his bed, and leave to find your own quarters, but he cleared his throat, and mumbled your name. “Are you alright?” You turned, and smiled at him, seeing uncertainty in his eyes. “I am.” You raised an eyebrow at his odd behavior, and moved to sit on the other side of his bed. “There is something you’re not say, what is it?” 

“Well, I. I wanted to um.” He kept clearing his throat, worrying you slightly. “I wanted to thank you.” You nodded, unsure of what he would be thanking you for. “For what exactly?” He looked surprised at your question, as if it was obvious what he was referring to. “Well, staying..” He trailed off “and for hel-saving me.” You shook your head at this last statement. “You have no reason to thank me, for either of those things. I saved you because you’re my master, and I can’t let you die. As for me leaving, I don’t want to leave, why do you think that I do?” 

“Why would you want to stay?” You were taken aback a bit, you’d never given it much thought. But you did know for certain that he was part of the reason, not his training, but him, he’s the only person who saw you for more than the chiefs daughter. He saw you as a person, and as someone to actually mattered. “I suppose that you would be why.” You looked away from his eyes, you could have pretended not to know why, but it’s quite obvious if you didn’t answer him he would have looked through your head, why not just tell him? 

When he didn’t say anything, you shifted in your spot and stood up to leave. “I’m sorry, master. That was out of line.” His eyebrows were pulled together, as he watched you, not understanding if he’d heard you right. “Me? Why would I be the reason you stay? My training may be good, but that doesn’t seem like a reason you would leave everything behind?” He genuinely didn’t understand how he could be the reason for someone like you to stay. 

“Well, yes your training is amazing, but that’s not what I meant. I meant you, you’re the reason I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m not just a chiefs daughter to you. I’m someone with potential, and someone that, I assume, you trust, at least slightly.” As you stood there, under Kylo’s careful eye, you began to think back, was there any one time you wanted to leave the First Order? No. But why? In some part of your brain, you knew why, it’s just something you would ever admit, because then Kylo could know in an instant. 

You noticed he was watching you closely again, only a matter of seconds later you felt your mind being picked apart, he wanted to know exactly what you wont admit in fear of rejection. “What exactly are you thinking you’ll find?” He ignored your question, and kept moving from thought to thought. “There is something else. I know there is.” You were starting to feel a sharp pain in your head, he’s not going to stop anytime soon, unless you tell him. 

“Okay, fine. Stop, please stop.” You begged, holding a hand up to your temple, feeling the dull ache that often comes when he’s in your head for too long. Immediately he stopped his actions, not because you would tell him, but because he realized he’d hurt you. “I-I’m sorry (Y/N).” You shook your head, and sat on his bed again only this time, facing away from him. “Don’t be.” 

He sighed, and covered his face with his hands, feeling awful for hurting you. “I don’t want to leave because of you, but not only because I feel like an actual person with you, but because well..” You sighed, and unknowingly copied his actions. “Since I came here, and got to know you, I just. I’m sorry I just started to think of you as more than just my master.” You looked down at the floor in shame, awaiting Kylo’s shouting, and anger, but it didn’t happen. All you heard was him moving around. “You have feelings for me?” He confirmed. Love, you thought, but you nodded anyway. 

“I’m so-“ He put a hand on your side, almost as invitation to turn around and look at him. “Don’t say sorry.” He mumbled, in a state of confusion, you turned and looked directly at him. “How did you hide that? I’ve been in your head more times than I can count.” He looked almost hurt that you’d been able to hide it from him. “I didn’t hide it Kylo, I just refused to acknowledge it. Therefore it wasn’t a thought you were capable to knowing.” 

“Why?” 

“Why did I not acknowledge it?” He nodded, looking at you intently. “Because if I did, I didn’t know what you would say, I didn’t know if I would lose the only friend I have. I didn’t know if you would hate me.” He pulled you around on the bed, and closer to him, this is is, this is where he’s going to get angry for hiding things from him. “No I’m not.” He sighs, looking down.

“(Y/N). I don’t hate you. I don’t think it’s possible for me to even be angry with you.” You sat cross legged in front of him, watching him bite his lip and looking fro the bed to you several times. You wanted to ask him what that meant, but it seemed pointless at this point, he is the only one who can decide if you know what the hell he’s talking about.

You watched him, and noticed that his eyes were squeezed shut, like he was in some sort of pain. “Kylo are you alright?” You moved closer to him, and made him look up at you, his fear filled eyes met yours, but it wasn’t a physical pain. He’s terrified of what you’re about to say. 

“Kylo, breathe, please.” He didn’t say a single word, only looked at you through wide eyes. You had no idea what to do, he wasn’t looking away from you now, but he still looked terrified. “Damn it, Kylo, please.” You moved so you were basically sitting on his lap, and held his face. “I love you damn it! You can’t do this not after I tell you I feelings for you, please fucking breathe!” 

His face started to regain color, while his eyes moved between your eyes, and lips. “Am, can I-?” You realized that what had just happened was him realizing he felt something for you too. You moved your lips closer to his, and kissed him softly, moving your hands from his face, to his shoulders. He didn’t kiss you back for a second, and you wondered if he didn’t want you to do this. Just as you went to pull away from him, he started moving his lips over yours, and rested his hands on your back. 

You pulled away from him after a moment, needing figure out if that had really just happened. “Iloveyou.” You looked up at him, not sure if you’d just heard him right or not. He sighed, and smiled nervously “I love you.” You couldn’t help but smile at his confession, Kylo Ren loves you. “I love you too, Kylo.”


End file.
